actuates:

*punches you in the face*
“It’s a metaphor”

  • me: whats your opinion on tampons
  • little brother: they're little fuzzy sticks on strings
  • me: then you are ultimately more mature than most boys
  • little brother: why
  • me: for some reason tampons are gross and taboo just cuz they go in a vagina
  • little brother: well so does a penis and boys never stop talking about those
  • me:
  • little brother:
  • me: that is a fantastic point
  • fukkkres:

    white mom: quit roughhousing!

    white son: fuck u mom

    white mom: oh heavens! thomas are you going to let your son talk to his mother like that?

    white dad: go to your room billy right this minute!

    white son: fuck u both *goes to room and jacks off and smokes weed out of mountain dew can*

    perks-of-being-chinese:

    when i was a kid, i asked my dad where babies came from and he said something like “ur mom had a stomach ache and she went to the bathroom n then came out with you” and i feel like thats his way of calling me a piece of shit

    panicpilots:

    Today I’m wearing a leather jacket and a daisy skirt and someone just said to me “I don’t know if youre going to give me a flower or beat me up” and like thats it. I have achieved it. My ultimate aesthetic; cute but could still beat the shit out of you

    Honest hour. Nothing will be deleted. Just come and ask.